


Outr'n

by Vexed_Wench



Series: Outr'n [1]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Challenge Response, Exile, M/M, POV John Sheppard, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-06-05 13:27:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6706180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vexed_Wench/pseuds/Vexed_Wench
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This takes place shortly after 'Runner'. John knew he needed to do something to make Rodney happy. He thought if he could only manage a few days alone with Rodney he could get the answers he needed. He thought it was a sign when they found a file that  mentioned the planet  Outr'n in a hidden database.</p><p>The plot was inspired by the artwork Z is not for ZPM. By Danceswithgary. I saw the artwork they'd submitted for the SGA reversebang and just had to claim it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Outr'n

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Z is not for ZPM](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6703507) by [danceswithgary](https://archiveofourown.org/users/danceswithgary/pseuds/danceswithgary). 



John had a plan. It was a good plan. In his opinion it was damn near a foolproof plan. He thought as he walked towards the lab. The plan was to have a nice extended weekend, or whatever passed for a long weekend in the Pegasus. The only thing left to do was pry Rodney out of his lab and grab his bags. John had already stowed his gear on the jumper. He's been up early and wanted to make sure he had his pick of the jumpers. He couldn't wait for the day to start. He'd planned everything down to the smallest detail. Somehow John had managed to talk Weir into letting him have a jumper so he could steal Rodney with it. They were going to explore a previously unknown planet. John swore it was a sign when Radek had taken a team to explore one of the previously flooded labs. No one could tell him if it had been the Ancient's that had locked the lab down or if it had been a malfunction from the flood. It didn't really matter he realized. They would still make the trip to see if there was anything salvageable on the planet.

He had Radek and Rodney had walked him through as much as they as they understood of what they'd found. He wished they had more information about either the lab or the planet. They convinced John that it would be worth their time to spend a few days off world. They stressed that the planet had some type of unstoppable power, and John found it hard to say no. He knew they all wanted more power.

It wouldn't be the first time they been out on a fact finding mission with nothing more then hope for something they could use. He just hoped that this trip would have promising results. He knew that Rodney as well as the entire science department was hoping for a new Zed PM. John knew how badly they needed the extra power. He hated to think of it as extra because extra was a term that implied that they had enough power. They only had enough power to run skeleton operation. He knew that every department wanted more than their share of power for whatever they specialized in. He knew that everyone needed more supplies than they were receiving. He wished he could find a way to help Weir make sure everyone had everything they needed to survive. Mere survival wasn't what he hoped the departments could achieve. They were already doing that, and he wanted more out of life for everyone than just eking by. He understood their frustration about signing on to the most advanced mission in history and being limited by their resources.

He wondered if they should've postponed their trip until Ronon and Teyla could come with them. They hadn't really spent much time off world together since Ronon joined the team. He'd managed to get the four of them together for a couple of movie nights. They hadn’t turned out to be the bonding experience he'd hoped for.

The idea of a buffer between was appealing but he knew it wouldn't help. He reminded himself that Ronon needed time away from the city. John was surprised that he'd been adjusting to life in the city as well as he had been. He couldn't imagine being so alone while being hunted for sport. He doubted he'd have been as sociable as Ronon had been. There were some days he didn't want to be as sociable as Ronon.

Ronon had lost more then anyone of them. John couldn't imagine what that was like. He's walked away from his family, but he knew they were still on Earth where he'd left them. If or when they made it back to Earth he always had the option to call his Dad and brother and attempt to fix their problems.

He didn't lose his entire planet.

Ronon was alone and had been for years. He worried that even the small crew that lived on Atlantis would be to much for Ronon to deal with. When Teyla suggested that Ronon accompany her for the village's hunt. It was perfect that the Athosian's annual kill the big hairy whatever it was festival of the month. It wasn't to be confused with the small, deadly and alarmingly fuzzy hunt that would they'd be celebrating next month. Ronon would have a good time blowing off steam with the hunt and the celebration after. Their celebrations after a good hunt could lift anyone's spirits.

 

He wondered how long it'd been since Ronon was invited to any social event let alone a village wide party. A small voice in his head reminded him that he needed to quit worrying about Ronon. If he could deal being a runner and hunted by the Wraith, then Teyla's people shouldn't scare him. He had a more pressing problem that needed to be dealt with. He needed to get things back on track with Rodney this weekend. He was no closer to figuring out what had happened between them then he was when they left Atlantis. Every attempt John made to even start a conversation was cut short. He knew most people were worried about dealing with Rodney’s temper when he yelled at them, or insulted their intelligence. John knew the only time to really be afraid was when Rodney ignored you to the point where he seemed to forget you existed.

It wasn't as if he could ask him what the hell crawled up his ass and made a nest in there. 

"What the hell?" he heard Rodney yell from the copilot's seat. What had looked like small windows the size of a post it note popped up in front of where Rodney was sitting. John could only stare at them as they seemed to have grown to quadruple their size by the time they got to where John sat. After a few moments, of watching them grow in size he couldn't see anything beyond the message that was being repeated in blinking red lights.

"Can you read 'em?" John asked. His own Ancient was still rusty. Improving it was one of those things that he swore he would do when he found the time.

"Death, danger, death, death and this one is warning about decapitation I think," Rodney pointed to a few of the brighter notes. As Rodney touched each one they gave a faint shimmer before disappearing as quickly as they'd shown up.

"I thought you and Radek went over this baby before we left? Wait a minute, did you really just say decapitation? You're kidding right? Why would they code a message for that? How do you know the word for that? "

"I would bet there are hundreds if not thousands of things buried in the files we haven't found. You should see the amount of files the that are corrupted, that we still have no clue how to fix them. There are always new things popping up when the jumper thinks they should. We think some need the pilot to trigger them and others must need to be activated before you leave Atlantis," Rodney explained as he rubbed his chin. 

"I thought between you and Radek you checked them over on a regular maintenance schedule? I did see paperwork about the maintenance schedule," John waited for the normal stream of I'm not a mechanic or the better bit of I didn't travel to another galaxy to head up the new and improved Jiffy Lube just for you rants that Rodney tended to favor. He was surprised to realize that he actually missed the other man's ranting.

"Right, because we would willingly sit in an unchecked flying potential death trap. Did you not understand the part where I said _we think_. We have more to deal with than just keeping track of bullets and wayward soldiers," Rodney replied and it was obvious that he was definitely still pissed about something. His retort was missing it’s usual flair. It was like when the waitress accidentally brought him the veggie burger with turkey bacon. It was a bad imitation of what he really wanted.

"Rodney, quit being an ass. There is something odd going on with the controls. I don't have the time to fight the control panel and decipher these damned notes, on top of trying to figure out what is wrong with you," John snapped. He banished all thoughts of Rodney's attitude or lack of attitude problem for his thoughts as he tried his best not to kill them with a rough landing.

"Wait, what do you mean? What happened to the controls? I swear they all checked out before we left," Rodney sounded as if he were on the verge of panicking. 

"They're just not right. They're sluggish and yet fighting me at the same time,” it wasn't something he could explain. He just knew there was something wrong with the jumper. If it'd been a horse or even a dog he would've said it was spooked. That was crazy talk, he reminded himself. Crazy for even the Pegasus galaxy.

"That makes no sense. I'll have you know that we do check them more often than even you realize. The last thing we want is for some hotshot pilot to destroy one. We still don't have everything we need to build more jumpers," Rodney complained as he unstrapped himself and headed to the back of the jumper.

"McKay, what the hell are you doing? Get back up here and strap yourself into the damned chair."

"I just need to find my..." Rodney started to explain. Unfortunately John never learned what he needed from the back. John wondered what could cause delusions as the next thing he knew the ground was rushing up to meet them. 

"Sheppard, come on we have to move," Rodney sounded as if he were on the verge of panicking.

John hated to hear him that upset. He tried to recall what had happened to them.

"Ro'ney, we crashed?" he mumbled. His head felt fuzzy.

"Yes, yes we did. I am sure you did everything you could to make it a _safer_ crash. We have to move now. I'm not sure what happened or what the hell was out there when we were coming down. I do know that we need to be....not here. So move your skinny ass," Rodney ordered as he maneuvered John into a sitting position.

"My ass _isn't_ skinny."

"Whatever you say, Princess," Rodney pulled John onto his feet.

"If I'm a princess does that make you my grumpy knight?" John laughed at the idea.

"I'll have you know that you would be lucky to have me save your skinny ass and your damn honor," Rodney huffed.

"Did I save you last time? Must be your turn," John asked him as they stumbled out of the jumper together. He just wanted a few moments to clear his head.

"Yes Major, last time you saved me from the big ugly aliens that tried to eat me. Now can we find someplace better than this to make camp?" Rodney propped John up against the nearest and straightest tree he could find for support.

"Where are you going?" John called as he watched Rodney run back to the jumper.

"We have to take as much as we can carry with us. We can't let those...whatever they were have our supplies."

 

"What do you mean whatever they were? Did you see any Wraith? Fuck, why didn't you say there were Wraith on the planet?" John pushed himself away from the tree and attempted to follow Rodney.

"Sheppard, stay there. You're still wobbly and will only slow me down," Rodney ordered as he continued running back toward the jumper.

John debated about following after him until he heard Rodney complain about having to zip tie to stubborn for their own good majors to the damn trees.

He leaned back against the tree and waited for Rodney to do whatever he felt was more important than running away from the hopefully not Wraith. He didn't want to think about what could be worse than the Wraith and hoped that Rodney would return before he found out the hard way. He had zero interest in that. 

John had just needed a minute to clear his head and almost had done that before Rodney had pulled him from the jumper. He knew it was almost a dirty trick to make Rodney think he was worse off than he was. He knew from experience that if he gave Rodney something to focus on that he could fix, there would be less of a chance of him panicking. If Rodney swore the jumper was beyond repair at the moment then he believed him. After all the missions they'd been on he could tell the difference between it's either beyond hope, and I am going to bitch because you're making me work in crap conditions with no help.

The sight of Rodney lugging a couple of over stuffed bags away from the jumper threatened John's resolve to still act shaken from the crash. If he went running over to help Rodney with them he would know there was something up.

"We need to move," Rodney barely gave him a backward glance as walked by John.

As they walked away from the small clearing John realized how lucky they'd been that he'd be able to land there. The planet was not one of the more lush green ones that mimicked Earth.  
At first he'd assumed the trees were just brown and it was whatever passed for fall on Outr'n. He was beginning to doubt it. It looked dead and it appeared to have been that way for a while. He hadn't spent a lot of time with the scientists that could tell him what the conditions of the trees and soil meant. He thought that when they got back to Atlantis he should make more time to see what was in the labs. He had made that plan every time they ran into some odd or freaky off world and he still found himself in Rodney's lab more often than not.

The hydroponics labs just weren't as entertaining as watching Radek and Rodney argue their points.

"Here you might as well help. You seem to be moving better," John was pulled from his thoughts as Rodney shoved a couple of the bags at him.

"Do you have an idea where we're heading?" John asked he as tried to find a comfortable hold with the bags. He wondered what Rodney had managed to grab in the short time he was in the jumper. Whatever he filled the bags with it had them filled to the point of almost bursting.

"The first semi decent structure we find I'm guessing. We really don't know much about Outr'n and I don't want to be out when it gets dark. I think this falls more under your job description than mine. It's bad enough that I'm dragging enough bags that I feel like a pack mule. Now you want me to make tactical decisions as well?" Rodney shuffled his own bags as he tried and failed to get a better hold on the bag.

"That _is_ a good plan."

"Wow, don't sound shocked. I have been off world a time or two," Rodney said as he rolled his eyes at John.

"I didn't mean anything," John swore. The last thing he wanted was one more thing to have to fix between them. 

They walked along what John assumed was once the main road. It made him wonder how long it'd been since anyone had regularly used it. It made him wonder if the not Wraith had kept them in or was it something worse? 

It wasn't long before his imagination decided to take a stroll through the worst monsters he could think of. He had worked the creatures up to what would be best described as a cross between the Wraith and an octopus. The addition of the tentacle gave them the ability to feed with each little sucker. Being part octopi they would easily navigate the water surrounding Atlantis. He was envisioning a small army of them invading Atlantis when they spotted what used to be someone's home. He was grateful to be able to get off of the road. The house was small but it did provide them with a place to bunker down and plan their next move. The first thing he noticed was how small the dwelling was. Despite it’s size or lackthereof it had a very open floor plan. The one room had a small nook off to the side for what he thought passed for a bathroom. Their was a space just slightly larger that held a small table and a old stove. It wasn’t exactly like the cast iron ones he'd seen on Earth, but it was close enough that he was able to recognize it. He wanted to laugh as he thought about how when the dwelling was first built it would've fetched a fair price in most of the trendier places on earth. They would bill it as cozy and a great starter home. Maybe when Outr'n was a thriving planet this was what the upper class had been living in.

Today it was a shell of it's former self. It was sad and rundown probably like much of the planet John thought.

They'd seen more than their fair share of planets after a culling since they'd arrived in the Pegasus. It just made him more concerned about what was out there.

He was just glad to have a couple of sturdy walls around them and a roof over their heads between them and whatever it would turn out to be. Maybe if the walls looked a little less cracked, or the empty windows had some kind glass in them he might've felt a little safer. A few extra weapons would be comforting as well. He wished not for the first time that the SG-C had allowed them to take a few crates of Zats with them. From what he's heard about them Ronon's gun was just as impressive if not more so. Maybe he could get Rodney and Radek to reverse engineer a few of them. That would mean he would have to pry it of of Ronon's hand and he wasn't sure how to make that happen.

Wishing for guns he didn't have wasn't going to save their asses tonight. He tried to focus on what they did have. He was about to ask Rodney what he'd managed to haul out of the jumper when he noticed that he was already riffling through the bags. In fact he was searching and rummaging through them like a man with a plan.

John knew from experience that unless it was vital to the mission that he should just stand back and let Rodney do his thing.

"You need to eat," was the only explanation he got as Rodney tossed a M.R.E. at his head.

John turned it over in his hands until Rodney stomped over and snatched it back out of his hands. "I thought you were milking your _injuries_ for some unknown reason. It really isn't a Sheppard thing to do."

"Are you admitting it is a McKay thing to do?" John asked as he grabbed back his food. 

"I have no clue what you're implying. I do worry that if you're too stupid to open a M.R.E. that you have more brain damage than I originally thought," Rodney hollered over his shoulder as he stomped back over to the bags.

John wanted the banter to continue. He wanted to close his eyes and pretend they were back on Atlantis and everything was fine.

"I just meant that there should be a couple of roasted not beef sandwiches in one of the bags. Unless you left them in the jumper. That would be a real shame because I think there was even a dozen of those pink cookies that you like so much," John knew for a fact there were a dozen and a half cookies packed away. They cost him a third of a bottle of his best 'shine to get them from the kitchen staff. They were Rodney's favorite cookie so he gladly handed over the booze for pink little desserts. He'd been planning to surprise Rodney with them. 

"I may have left a few things behind. Do us a both a favor and eat your food like a good little soldier. I'm not sure how much is really wrong with you, but there's something not right. I will be the bigger person and take first watch," Rodney's tone left no room for argument on the subject matter. 

He picked at something that may have been beef once upon a time. He thought he would close his eyes for a few minutes before he argued with Rodney. 

The next moment he felt Rodney shaking him awake.

"We have to move," Rodney hissed as he kept an eye on the door.

"What did you see?" John snapped awake at Rodney's touch.

"Honestly, it may be nothing, but I'm pretty sure there's something out there," Rodney whispered eyeing the window. 

"Like something bigger than a breadbox, but smaller than a Wraith?" John was hopeful that it was just Outr'n's version of edible wildlife.

"Do you really want to go out and shake the bushes and see what runs out?" Rodney snapped at him.

"Not really, but we have a lot of stuff to drag back with us. I am assuming we would be going back to the jumper. "

"We could just hunker down and wait it out," Rodney suggested.

"I have a few things to show you if you think it's safe to stay here," Rodney sat back down under the window.

"The walls are solid and the roof looks sturdy. We might be better off here then walking out in the open," John sat down next to him. "You found something?"

"It's not what I found, but what I couldn't find."

"Okay, that wasn’t cryptic at all," John drawled out sarcastically with a slight raise of his eyebrow.

"You know I've been grabbing the 'kid friendly laptop' before each mission.

“Don't act like you don't call it that behind my back. I don't know why I grabbed it before we left this morning. I know perfectly well that underneath your big dumb soldier act is an almost passably competent brain."

"Such high praise. I don't know if my delicate ego can handle it," John cut in.

"Sheppard, I'm trying to be serious with what little time we have," Rodney

"Geeze, Rodney. Okay, so you brought the kiddie laptop. I do admit I call it that because you have the settings set so strict they might as well be Atlantis's version of parental controls," John explained.

"You weren't paying attention it isn't blocked from any one thing exactly. It's blocked from _everything_..."

"Rodney, you're getting off point here. I thought you were worried about time and the whatever the thing is out there getting in here," John tried to get him back on track. He knew that if he let him, Rodney would babel on and on until he ran out of steam. Most of the time John found it amusing, but he had a feeling that Rodney was right about there being something out there.

"Right, right, the point was that nothing on the jumper was working. That's why we crashed. When I turned this on last night everything worked fine."

"Why? What makes that one special?" John wondered aloud.

"I'm going to cut you some slack after everything that happened. I am sure if you were in your normal state of mind you would know why this one was different from everything else in the jumper." Rodney gave him one of his patented you're such a moron yet I tolerate you looks.

"This one is non networked. That's what you meant by it not being hooked up to anything."John looked over and Rodney was making a keep going motion with his hand. That clearly wasn't the only thing different about it. He thought about it a moment and was surprised when he realized that it took him so long to put together the fact that it didn't have any Ancient technology blended within it.

"The reason I let Ronon poke around on it is because he can't do any permanent damage." Rodney smirked.

"Help me out here. Why's that important?" John hated when they had these conversations. Rodney always made him feel both intelligent and stupid at the same time.

"It means that whatever it was that struck us down only goes after things with Ancient crystals in them. If we can, mind you I'm stressing the word _if_ here, we and by we I mean _me_ find a way to make the jumper work we may get home."

John's head was reeling at the thought of the jumper being able to run more like an Earth based ship. That sounded like a cursed blessing if he's ever heard one.

He worried that it would lose the sparks of what made it special. He'd flown damn near everything you could on Earth. The chance to fly aliens ships was one of the biggest reasons he'd even bothered to flip the damned coin when O'neill asked him to join the mission. He never regretted that decision since the first time he sat in the jumper's pilot seat.

"I thought you and Radek both swore that you _couldn't_ change anything. That we had to learn how to adapt with everything being Ancient?" John wondered just how much of that was true. He knew they were overworked and understaffed in the labs.

"We can't really change anything that you are thinking of. I know you're thinking we should be able to make all the subroutines in English. That would require a lot more time and effort then we are willing to spend. There is a difference between something that will be a patch forever and something that will _hopefully_ save our asses. Answer this, did you chose to ignore the part where I said I was pretty sure there was something out there? Could we maybe discuss how to turn the jumper into your dream car later?" Rodney said as he started to slowly inch himself towards the door keeping well below the window line.

"We might as well leave the bags here. The last thing we need is for them to slow us down," John hated to leave whatever Rodney had risked himself to get.

"I know you're right. I hate that we have to leave the supplies behind," Rodney gave the bags one last look before John slid in front of him to open the door.

John hesitated at the door he knew Rodney had a point. "Give me your belt," John told him as he slipped his own belt out of his pant loops.

John made quick work of finding the highest point in the room that he could manage to hang the bags from. He figured if they recommended hanging your camping supplies on Earth it should work on whatever was hiding out there.

They quietly slipped out into the yard. The rising sun gave him enough light to see beyond the edge of the yard. More importantly he was able to check the ground for tracks. He'd been on enough hunting trips and away missions to be able to at least judge it's size. He just hoped it wouldn't be a bloodthirsty rabid weasel with the taste for human blood. With their luck the damn things would travel in packs and the house they were squatting in was their home base.

"Did we walk this way yesterday?Those bags must've been heavier then I realized." John wondered aloud trying to find his footing on the path. It was hard to tell as overgrown as everything was.

"The jumper is over that way," Rodney nodded to his left.

"That's unsettling..." John mumbled.

"What is your problem? We needed to find cover so we found cover and now we need to move," Rodney explained as if John had been too stupid to figure it out for himself.

"Well then _Rod_ ney why are there footprints over there. Footprints that look like someone was dragging something pretty damn heavy." John pulled him over to examine the tracks.

"That wasn't me," Rodney sounded insulted by the accusation.

"I know it wasn't me," John snapped.

"Well, I don't see anyone else around here. I'm pretty sure what I saw outside of the window wasn't dragging heavy things around out here," Rodney stepped back towards their original path.

"I don't want to argue about this," John stopped speaking when the bushes behind Rodney started to move.

He was frozen in shock for a moment. The last thing he expected to see was a zombie shuffling out onto the path just ahead of them. He doubted anyone ever expected to see a zombie. They could easily pass for extra’s in the Friday night creature feature films. 

It’s skin was gone in rotted away so bad in spots he could see it’s bones. It’s hair had fallen out in large chunks and what was left was a handful of dark, greasy, matted chunks.

John was quick to unstrap his knife and stab the thing in the head. He hadn't wanted to draw attention to them or their location by shooting it.

"Oh my god...did you...a zombie. You killed a zombie? We were just ambushed by a zombie," Rodney rambled out his panic level was beginning to rise.

"You need to pull yourself together," John said sternly as he wished that they had time to sit and calm their nerves. He had no idea if zombies were solitary hunters or followed a pack mentality. The only knowledge he had of zombies were from late night horror films. He doubted that any of the information that he could remember would be useful to them at the moment. Movies were not exactly a viable guide to life. 

"We need to keep moving," John grabbed Rodney giving him little choice but to fall in beside him. He was relieved when Rodney followed along with minimal protest.

He knew his luck wouldn't hold forever.

"That was crazy. How is that even possible? Bad science fiction movies aside that should _not_ be a thing. How did the people here become… zombies?"

"Well Rodney, you see when a mommy zombie and a daddy zombie _really_ like each other," John cut him off with a smirk.

"What? Can you be serious for like five minutes?" Rodney asked him.

"What do you want me to say? I have no clue. I would think the the Ancients would have mentioned Outr'n in one of their many databases. Unless you and Radek just chose to ignore one on Atlantis," John knew if he got Rodney angry enough that he would forget to be scared. The extra snark Rodney was bound to throw his way was a bonus as far as he was concerned.

"Are we going to do this again? You already insulted our work ethic once on this trip. I would think you knew better than to question anyone that worked under me," John tried to to grin at the heat behind Rodney's words.

"Well, I would think zombies would be something that someone would've mentioned," John said as he poked Rodney in the shoulder as they walked.

"Maybe they didn't want anyone to know that they'd engineered them. Even with all of the weirdness we've encountered has anything short of the Wraith come close to this?" Rodney reasoned.

Any retort John had was lost when he spotted the jumper in the distance.

He heard something moving around behind the thicket and yelled for them to run. They traversed the distance between their current position and the jumper at top speed. Now was not the time for a leisurely jog. When they reached the jumper, John opened the hatch and shoved Rodney inside before doubling back to deal with what was behind them.

He was glad to see it was one lone figure he had to deal with. He was sure he could deal with more than one at a time if he had to but he was in no hurry whatsoever to find out if that was true.

He walked the perimeter knowing that Rodney would call him if he needed help. He didn't want to risk one of the zombies sneaking up on them.

If they had the gene while they were human would they still have it when they were zombiefied he wondered? They had no idea how much humanity they retained. It wasn't as if they had a chance to talk with any of the ones they had encountered so far. What would they have been able to tell them he thought. It's not like they could ask them how they became zombies. He supposed a better question would be where they lived. It would make it easier to avoid them if he knew where they slept or gathered.

"Sheppard...where the hell are you?" Rodney was muttering into his earpiece. John had enough experience listening to Rodney mutter in his ear to know when he was in serious trouble . In John's opinion he sounded more annoyed than scared at the moment. He thought that it wouldn't hurt to double back to the jumper faster than he's planned just to be safe.

"It's about damn time. What happened did you stop for a nap?"

"Gee, I thought I would look for more zombies. You never know they may have wanted tasty brains. We all know you are the smartest person so it stands to reason yours would be tastier." John barely resisted the urge to stick his tongue out as well.

"My genius is the reason I called you back here. We have a choice to make. I was able to make a rough patch but I doubt it will hold for long. You need to understand that _if_ we do this there is a very good chance that we will fry the crystals. The most we will get out of the jumper again is shade and maybe a safe place to store things out of the elements." Rodney sounded as nervous as John felt.

"We don't have that many options," John reminded him.

"Right, I just wanted to make sure we're clear about what will most likely happen. We have to decide if we want to try our luck on the mountain top or one small patch of flat land in the water."

"You mean that chain of islands? They looked pretty small. I'm not sure if I want to try the deserted island life," John had spotted them yesterday before he lost control of the jumper.

"You'd prefer to be mountain men?" Rodney laughed.

"Maybe? Do you think zombies can climb the mountain? I don’t think zombies need to breathe so I’m guessing they might be able to walk along the bottom of the ocean out there. Hell, we don't even know how deep it is. I don't think they have the dexterity to be able to free climb a mountain," John reasoned.

"Good points," Rodney sounded convinced.

John made him explain the patches and work around what he had installed in detail twice before he he would even attempt to fly. He wasn't leaving anything to chance.

John watched as Rodney quickly finished the working out the last bit of coding . He's always been one to opt for the 'Hail Mary' when push came to shove, but he was secretly worried that this was taking it too far even for his luck.

If he's had any doubts that it would be a rough flight the takeoff confirmed it. It took every ounce of concentration just to get off the ground. He hoped he would be able to keep her leveled long enough to get at least near the mountain. He really didn't want the last flight of his life to end in a twisted and, no doubt, bloody mess.

He scanned the area as he turned the jumper towards the mountain. He hoped it was his imagination but he could have sworn he saw hands reaching for them. He would've liked to believe the chunks of flesh that were missing from the fingers were from the dried thorns that encased them. He knew that was never going to be the case on Outr'n.

"Sheppard, we need to find a place to set down in about forty five seconds."

"That's not much notice."

"It's the right amount of notice," Rodney told him.

John knew he was right, but he was looking for a reason to let Rodney be bitchy.

He set the jumper down when Rodney reminded him that the forty five seconds were up.

They had done four little hops before Rodney even attempted to start a conversation with him.

"Hmm..."

"What's wrong?" John was worried. They were almost at the base of the mountain and the last thing he wanted was to have to hike the last of the trip.

"I did tell you that none of my calculations were proven before today. I think I may have been a bit off in my estimations," Rodney admitted.

"Okay, so we have less time before we need to stop?" John hoped not.

"Actually, no we have more time. I think we may be able to reach the top this next hop. I'm pretty sure that if we do, it _will_ destroy any chance we have of salvaging any parts for later," Rodney explained not bothering to look up from his notes.

John had faith in Rodney's logic, even if he didn't ask him to double check his math. He doubted he would've been able to spot anything that would've made a difference. The fact that he hadn't asked or even showed his ideas to John just further proved that there was something wrong.

He was glad when the top of the mountain was in sight. He was happy that the ground looked relatively flat. He had very little doubt that the landing would be rough. The first one hadn't been a picnic and they had gotten progressively worse with each small hop.

"Brace yourself," he shouted as the jumper was ready to touch down.

Each bump proved how right he'd been.

"Hey Buddy, you still in one piece?" he asked hoping like hell Rodney was. He hated the thought of having to do any emergency medical procedures at the moment. Truthfully he hoped to never have to do one while they were there.

"I think so," Rodney mumbled.

"Are you going to be okay in here while I go check it out?" John wanted to see what was out there.

"You stay in here while I check it out," John ordered with more force than before he hoped that for once Rodney would just listen to him. They didn't have time to argue about it.He would be able to focus better on his surroundings if he knew Rodney was someplace safe.

"I don't like you being out there alone," Rodney argued.

"Please, just this once do what I ask you to do. Once I check it out I'll come back for you," John waited until Rodney nodded in agreement. He was relieved when Rodney did and hurried out before he could change his mind.

John took his time walking around the jumper trying to settle his own nerves.

He'd seen a lot of weird shit since he stepped foot in Atlantis and before this trip he thought he had developed a thicker skin when it came to the weirdness they always encountered.

He tried to remember that the last thing he needed to do, was freak out. He knew that if he did Rodney would lose what little composure he had left.

He was hopeful when he spotted the light dusting of snow that covered the ground. I was clear of any tracks besides his own and that’s the best omen he’s seen all day. He followed his own tracks back to the jumper and signaled Rodney that it was safe to come out.

"What do you think?" Rodney asked eyeing the clearing as if he expected something to jump out and ambush them.

"The surrounding area looks good. We'll have to do something for a permanent shelter. I think for now we can crash in the jumper. It's solid and should be warmer than anything else we can build for now."

"That would be damn near embarrassing we survive the Wraith and somehow manage to escape the zombies. Then we had the misfortune to wind up dead from exposure. Yeah, I'm thinking that isn't a good plan," Rodney rolled his eyes and John was glad to see his snark coming back.

"I'm not liking that option either," John grinned.

"That's because you would go first you're not built for the colder weather. "

"That's why I am lucky I have you. You can keep me warm," John bumped his shoulder into Rodney's. He was rewarded with seeing the tips of Rodney's ears turn red. He doubted it was from the wind. Maybe Rodney was letting whatever he was feeling so pissy about go.

"We made it up here, now what? You must have an idea about what we need to do. There must be some kind of plan for when something like this happens," Rodney sounded hopeful.

"What would that be? Where do you think that I would learn that?"

"Oh, I don't know snarky Air Force school. They must have taught you to have a plan for everything."

"That's the boy scouts, Rodney."

"Whatever, I'm thinking we should be doing more than just having a leisurely stroll through the woods," Rodney gestured at the trees surrounding them.

"Leisurely stroll? Why Dr. McKay I'm afraid I left my parasol in the other jumper," John replied using his best English accent. 

"Ass." He heard Rodney mutter under his breath.

They continued to walk along the top of the peak in silence.

"It's bigger than I thought it would be up here," Rodney carefully walked to the edge.

"Hey, step back. The last thing we need is you plummeting to your death," John pulled him backwards by his waist.

"Oh please, like I would do anything to put myself at risk," Rodney crossed his arms over his chest. John knew he was nervous and was trying his best not to make it worse on him.

"Alright, just humor me and stay away from the edge for a bit. We don't know how solid the ground is up here," John pleaded as he tried to reason with him.

"What is next on our agenda? After you get cleaned and changed. I vote for that to be first . How could you not have noticed you are covered in zombie guts?" Rodney asked him as he stomped over to where a few large rocks were clustered around each other.

"I know I need to get cleaned up but we need to get some food first. Trust me, I can feel the zombie goo as well as smell it but it hasn’t killed me yet so it can wait. Once we get settled in for the night I will deal with my clothes," John shrugged and tossed him a couple of Power Bars. He was glad he had stashed a couple in his pockets before they'd left that morning. He wasn't sure what they would find growing in that altitude. He didn't want to leave it up to chance and have to hike back hungry.

"I was thinking more long term but yeah food is a good thing," Rodney nodded. " I wish it was something better than these."

"If you don't want them..." John tried to grab the bar Rodney hadn't opened yet before he sat on one of the rocks closest to Rodney.

"Will you be serious," Rodney said around a mouthful of the first power bar, while he opened the second one.

"What do you want me to say here? We need everything. The basics are the most important. We need shelter and the jumper'll work for now. I don't think we'll be happy packed in there together long term but at this point it will have to do," John knew the lack of privacy would make them miserable in no time.

"That should be easy enough to figure out. We have plenty of land and trees. Maybe we could put together some kind of log cabin," Rodney was already drawing rough sketches in the snow.

"I'm sure we'll figure it out. Rodney, we also need food. Have you seen anything edible? Any plants or berries we know are safe. Any small game tracks? I would rather deal with small stuff now without a way to preserve and keep it. I would also like to make sure the zombies aren't up here before we start skinning anything big," The thought of fresh blood calling them was something he would hate to deal with.

"We need to build shelter as well as a storehouse and a smoker? Do you think the smoke would draw them to us?" Rodney asked him.

"I'm not sure. They didn't cover hiding from zombies while being exiled on an unpopulated planet in basic. I'm pretty sure I would've remembered that," John winked at him.

"If we ever get back you can teach one. Assuming we figure out a way to call for help. As things stand right now I don't see that happening." Rodney reminded him.

"Could you see how that would work." John laughed.

"If they wouldn't classify every little thing we found out here think of all the teachable moments we've had so far," Rodney said wistfully. "We know they will at some point. I just hope I'm still alive when they finally do. Look at the reports that are still being buried in Cheyenne. If people even knew a quarter of the things that went on under the mountain there would be a mass panic."

"That would be something to see. Imagine the news stations trying to cover the fall out," Rodney laughed as he dug around his own pack.

"I think I would rather be stuck here,"John shuddered.

"I'll drink to that," Rodney agreed as he tossed John a water bottle.

"You ready to explore the other side now?" John asked him.

"We might as well," Rodney agreed as he let out a long suffering sigh.

John walked over to him to offer to pull him upright. It felt good to be out of the city and away from all of the people. If it weren't for the zombies it would've been perfect.

"This is _not_ the weekend you promised me," Rodney muttered as they walked back towards the jumper.

"I don't know about that. I did promise you a few days away from the constant whining of your underlings..."

"Minions," Rodney absently corrected.

"Yeah keep telling yourself that. _Anyways_ you don't have anyone whining at you. I said we would find something new and different. How much different can you get from zombies? After we figure out a basic life we will have plenty of time to work on anything you can think up," John bumped his shoulder.

"You do realize that this will be a lot of work," Rodney quietly asked him as they neared the jumper.

"Yeah, it will be. I think it will be worth it. We're lucky we have the jumper so we're not exposed to the wildlife or the weather. We can take our time and do it right," John opened the jumper and watched as Rodney went in first. He wasn't going to let anything surprise them at the last minute.

"You really think we will be alright?" Rodney asked him as he sat down in front of the bench in the back. John sat next to him with their shoulders pressed together.

"I don't think we have many options. We either make it work and maybe one day find a way out of here. Maybe the original people weren't all zombified. I know we have no proof there's a gate on the planet. For all we know they could've buried it, or put it in storage. They might've perfected a way to make a scan free box. That might be beyond our reach, but you might be able to fix the jumper," John told him. He had seen Rodney pull crazier miracles out of thin air before.

"You think that could happen? I'm good at what I do and trust me when I say I know exactly how good I am. Full disclosure here, I'm not even sure I can pull that off," Rodney admitted.

"I'm not going to get into a discussion about how smart you really are. I do know one thing for sure if we don't try something we might as well pick which way we want to die. What sounds like the best plan we have guns and bullets up here or the zombies down there. I for one do _not_ want to be a zombie or zombie chow. I don't want any of those options." He never liked having 'the we need to talk' discussion in any relationship and this one was no exception. None of them came close to this in the ‘our lives are so fucked’ up category.

"I'm surprised. You tend to be more risky and stupid," Rodney told him.

"When have I ever knowingly put you or any of your people in danger? I know that every scientist that leaves with a team is looked after. They all know the damn city would sink without your staff." John was livid that Rodney would even suggest something like that.

He'd personally met with every team leader and had the _care and feeding of your scientist discussion_ with them before their first mission. He followed up with them as often as it needed to be done. He also bribed Radek for any relevant gossip that he needed to know. Radek would always tell him who was having trouble in the field. He was full of realistic suggestions about what John could do to keep everyone happily working together.

"Calm down. I never said you were reckless with me or my minions."

"My people all knew what they were signing on for before they stepped foot near the gate," John felt what was left of his good mood slipping away.

"I know that. I meant you take risks with yourself. How many times have you damn near died? We both have to be extra careful from now on. One stupid mistake and whichever one of us is left will be the _only_ one left," Rodney tried to explain.

"I agree with you there. I could say the same thing about you. You tried to be the human shield. You're the one that walked into the killer gas that escaped when we first arrived in Atlantis. We both need to watch out and be smart about things," John really didn't want to fight but he had a valid point that needed to be made. 

"So, what are you saying we should pinky swear to watch each others backs as well as our own?" Rodney laughed at the idea.

"Rodney, why are we fighting over what _could_ go wrong?" John asked him.

"I don't want to fight," Rodney mumbled.

"I guess I should just be glad you're talking to me," John told him.

"What do you mean we've been talking all day."

"Yeah, we have Rodney. Except for the flesh eating zombies and the crash landing it's been a pretty good trip. I finally got you out of the lab to spend a little time with me."

"This is the first time you've seemed like you wanted to spend time with me in weeks," Rodney sounded hurt. John hated to hear him sound like that.

"That can't be true..." John thought aloud.

"Then you tell me when was the last time we hung out just the two of us? Don't get me wrong I am glad the four of us are a team. Teyla is great, she knows so much about life out here. I swear I would've killed for more people like her on damn near any project," Rodney said.

"I agree she is smart and has always been a great help. I hate to think about how many times we would've been screwed without her. I can't help but notice you left Ronon off the team list," John thought that Rodney was warming up to Ronon.

"That's okay you spend enough time with him for the both us," Rodney snapped and practically jumped up in order to search though little hidey holes in the back even John hadn't known about.

"Have those been here the whole time? What did you pack in them? Does everyone but the pilots know about those?" John asked from where he still sat. He wondered what else the science department was keeping for the rest of them.

"I don't remember why we opted not to tell the pilots about them. I'm sure we had a valid reason. They are always stuffed with necessity and trade items," Rodney said as he reached under the co pilots seat and pulled out a mid sized box.

"That means we're set when it comes to chocolate, coffee, and Radek's rotgut whiskey?" John laughed.

"Hey, you're laughing but all of those things will be a welcome addition to our new found caveman diet. Do you really want to wait for the local fruit or vegetable to ferment before we have alcohol?" Rodney was practically bouncing on his toes.

"You avoided my question," John reminded him .

"I didn't avoid it as I was stalling. What do you want me to say? We're stuck here and if I say the wrong thing and piss you off what happens?" Rodney sat back down by him. This time he made sure to keep space between them.

"What are you talking about? What would be the wrong thing? Why do you think I would leave you in a bad spot? Seriously, I would never leave you alone with the zombies. I would think you would do the same for me. I do know that the only way we're going to make it out of here is working together. You know that always worked for us in the past," John scooted over towards Rodney. He was hoping to finally work things out with him.

"You can't tell me that you haven't realize that we haven't seen anyone alive. That makes me wonder who are you going to replace me with next time?" Rodney asked him as he fiddled with the bottle in his hands.

"What the hell? When did I replace you?" John asked as he grabbed the bottle away from him.

"I don't want to do this anymore. Can we just spend the night making better short term plans?" Rodney cross his arms over his chest.

"Normally I would be all over the avoidance option. The problem with that is you seem to think I have already replaced you once. _If_ that were the case then why didn't I bring them here instead of you?"

"How should I know? Maybe you're smart enough to know that you need a scientist when exploring undocumented planets. Maybe you thought that just because he's hot and in his own way smart that he was still no match for me. Oh, I know maybe this is the Atlantis version of the public breakup. You know how people handle the crazy bitch you don’t want to dump at home because you are afraid that will do something extreme. Is that it? Were you afraid that I would do something to hurt you or your fucking career if you tried to break ties with me in Atlantis?" Rodney snapped his jaw shut like he'd just realized what he'd said.

"Is that what you thought? Why would you think that?" John was trying to figure out what had gotten into Rodney's head. He couldn't think of what he had done to give him that impression."You really thought I brought you out here because I didn’t want to be friends anymore?"

"It's not like we've been doing much together lately. There is one consistent reason why you always cancel on me," Rodney glared at him.

"I know most of it is my fault but you can't blame me for everything. If you have a problem you need to tell me about it. Hell, you complain about all the little stuff easy enough. I thought we were fine," John fiddled with the bottle of Radek's latest creation. He really did want to open the bottle and try to drown their problems in it. He doubted there was enough alcohol even in Radek's 'shine to allow that to happen.

"You thought we were fine? You thought I was fine playing second to your new boy toy is more like it," Rodney grabbed the bottle back.

"Hey, the last thing we need is that. What do you mean boy toy? I think I would remember bringing one home. Where am I stashing this poor guy? I really hope he likes paperwork, you know how much I hate it," John was trying not to laugh at the absurd images that kept popping into his head.

"Two word, Ronon Dex," Rodney smugly replied.

"You think I'm _fucking_ Ronon? He can bench press me. Seriously, I've seen him in the gym. He took down four marines at once. Did you forget the age difference? He is so much younger than I am. You do know he's not into guys, right? He needs to adjust to being around people. _Do I seem like the perfect person to help with that?_ Oh, and Rodney, the most important reason he's not my type," Even as John rattled off all of that he was stunned that Rodney would say something think those things.

"You have to admit you sure do spend a lot of time with him. Just the two of you bonding over whatever new and crazy manly thing you've both cooked up."

"I'm always asking you to come with us. Teyla comes with us sometimes. You're always too busy to hang out," John was feeling insulted by Rodney’s accusations.

"When I know Teyla will be there I agree to go. Why would I go if it were just you and Ronon?"

"Geez Rodney, maybe because we're all friends. I thought you could not be an asshole to the new guy. He is in over his head and could use people on his side. I thought maybe if he knew the team had his back he could settle in and start to have a nice life. Some of the shit that guy's been through would make most people want to just give up. So yeah, I want him on our team. He wants to destroy the Wraith. Not just kill them but wipe them off the map," John tried to explain why they needed Ronon.

"You could've told me all of this before," Rodney handed him back the bottle.

"You could've told me what was wrong. If you're pissed you have to tell me. I spent the last week trying to figure out what I did to annoy you this bad. Trust me I don't want to have to go through that again," John admitted.

Rodney grabbed the bottle back and cracked the seal before swearing, "I'll drink to that."

"Go easy on that. We don't know how many bottles we have. I don’t think we have more, do we?" John asked him. He was embarrassed to admit he no idea what was stashed in his own ship. “So, are we good now?" 

"Yeah, I think we will be. You do realize that I'm still annoyed and I think I will be for a while. There are a couple more bottles stashed in here. There were a few more in the bags we left behind yesterday," Rodney told him.

"I expected nothing less from you," John realized he meant every word. He knew the next few months would be challenging but he was positive they were up for it. There was no way they were going to let the planet or the zombies keep them down. Between the two of them they would figure out how to not only survive but thrive until either they were rescued or found a way to escape.

John knew they wouldn't be stuck there for long. He was beginning to look forward to his extended vacation. If all he had to do was battle a few zombies to have some time alone with Rodney it seemed like a fair trade off. 

"How about we save the drinks for our housewarming party. I have a feeling it will be the first of many things we accomplish together," John suggested.

"I can be persuaded," Rodney nodded in agreement.

They both stretched out in front of the bench and quietly discussed everything the wanted to accomplish while they were there.

John hoped building a bigger bed for them to share was at the top of Rodney's list. John realized that he wasn't going to give Rodney up no matter what anyone thought.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my lovely beta lynx212 and her magical fluffing shoes. :D

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Z is not for ZPM](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6703507) by [danceswithgary](https://archiveofourown.org/users/danceswithgary/pseuds/danceswithgary)




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